Center Cut

Never in my life did I think I would compare my life to a piece of meat. I don't even really like meat. I have always had issues with the texture, taste, and smell of most any meat. So to compare my life at the moment to meat, well, you would think I am not happy with it.

But that is the farthest thing from the truth. My life is just about as good as it gets at the moment. My husband just recently got hired on for next year as an assistant principal/director of the career and technology center at the high school. I am expecting our second child, a girl, in June. Mason, 2 1/2, is a fiesty, typical two year old who is definitely starting to show us who he really is. We have a great (but small, ahem) house and live in a great neighborhood.

Back to the meat comparison. The things that are good in my life are the best part, the center cut. But even the best piece of meat has fat marbled through it and along the edges. Those are the bad days, the hard times, the things that most people experience in life. All you meat eaters out there know that it can be darn hard to trim off all of the fat before you take a bite of that sweet, juicy, piece of meat.

I just grossed myself out even typing that, ew.

So you just eat the meat with the fat on it. Dive head first into the good times and brace for the bad. Hopefully though, those good times will help with swallowing the fat. Make it easier to take in.

Right now, in my life, I am trying to swallow the fat and appreciate the center cut. The good stuff. Because what is a good piece of meat if you can't enjoy every bite?

Cuteness

The weather report for today, by Mason:

"Oh my doodness! It's wind!" Yes, that is how he said it. And I giggled for at least a minute.


In response to not liking something, or not wanting it:

I can't like peas, Mom!

I can't want the chitin' (chicken)!


Potty time:

(while pottying on Cheerios in the toilet) "I hit de Chee-os in da toyet, Mom"



What cute things does your child say or do?

coming to a close

Today is the last "weekday" of my Christmas vacation. I know, I know...if you aren't a teacher, you are probably cussing me and wishing that I and all of your other teacher friends would shut their traps about it. I must admit, through all the trials of teaching, these extended breaks (almost) make dealing with the education system worth it.

We are going to enjoy the rest of the weekend by relaxing and having a little fun in these unseasonable warm temperatures.

It's New Year's Eve, and we actually have plans. Going to a friend's dinner party, then to the movies (instead of the bars this year). What are you doing to ring in the new year?

Catching Up

Well, since it has been, oh, three and a half months since I have written, I suppose I will just write about what has been going on around here. I honestly did not post anything lately because my mind has felt like mush and I can't even find my car keys or Mason's diapers half the time, let alone put together a well written, meaningful blog entry.

Happier times are here. I am sixteen weeks pregnant with, well, we don't know yet; but, I WILL tell you that today the doctor told us it will either be a boy or a girl!! Hehe. I am so excited to find out who will be joining us in June I can't stand it!

School is flying by ( a good thing, I must say) this year. This class I have of second graders this year? Well, they are a challenge to say the least. It makes me so sad sometimes to try to think of the REAL reasons they act they way they do sometimes. My district is low-income with plenty of poverty and disadvantaged kids to go around. A love for school starts at home, and some of these kids are just worried about whether or not they will eat that day, or if they will get a "whoopin" for not finishing their homework at school. Anyway, I just keep thinking "May 27th, May 27th, May 27th" and it will get here soon (enough).

Mason is two and (almost) a half, and I can't believe it. He is starting to talk in full sentences and understands WAY more than we give him credit for. I love having little conversations about books, school, and what I am doing at thisverysecondeverysecondoftheday. :) He understands that there is a baby in my belly and kisses it every now and then, which makes me cry. Wait. Everything makes me cry.

Mason loves his Daddy. That used to hurt my feelings, but now I love it. They wrestle, play football, and wrestle (yes, I said that twice). It is so fun to watch them do man things together!

I am hosting (the day after) Christmas this year, busily trying to get last minute wrapping, cleaning, and whatever else I forgot to do five minutes ago. It will be fun to have everyone here this year! Our cats have just about ruined our Christmas tree, so that's nice. But hey, the lights still work and (most) of the ornaments are still on the top half of the tree, so I'd say that's a win right there.

Merry Christmas everyone. Don't forget to tip everyone who has ever done anything for you AT LEAST $50.

Big times here at the King's!!

We've been makin' messes,

Experimenting with mama's makeup (shh, don't tell Chad!)

And the biggest one of all...pottyin'! Wish us luck!

Don't count your chickens.

I hesitated to write this. Because, well, this is a blog. And anyone is free to read it. But, that's why I have one, I guess. This is supposed to be sort of an online journal, I guess.

I am heartbroken. Figuratively and almost literally. On Saturday I lost the second baby in two months that I have carried. I am so pissed off at God right now. I know I probably shouldn't be. Or maybe I am pissed off at my body. Nobody can say the right thing. "Oh, it's for the best." Or, "Oh, it's your body's way of telling you something isn't right". I don't care about all that. None of it makes me feel any better. I honestly feel a gaping hole in the middle of my body. Two days ago I felt a fullness. I felt like throwing up. I was dizzy, had an aching chest. All of it because I was expecting a child, and now I'm not.

I feel bad for being so angry. I think about others who actually give birth to their children and then lose them. I won't pretend to know how that feels. But I'm sure it sucks. Worse than I ever want to know. So, when I am crying or want to punch something because of the way I feel, I feel a little crazy, too. Crazy because there are people who have it so much worse. People who have had 20 miscarraiges instead of two. People who have lost babies they have actually held in their arms.

I feel selfish. Robbed of the "perfect summer" I was supposed to have. All summer with my newborn baby. Now, the months are ticking away until it will be a new school year by the time I give birth.

I would say I am at the "anger" stage, wouldn't you? I hope the doctor can help me understand this and provide me with a way to keep this from happening again. I don't think I am strong enough for this.

I also feel so stupid. Stupid because I told a few close friends about this second pregnancy. Stupid because now I have to go back and tell them it's not to be. And stupid because now they have to pretend to know how I feel and pretend to know what to say to me. Now I know why people don't shout it out to the world when it happens to them. I always thought that was weird. I told everyone I knew that I was pregnant with Mason before the pee had even dried on the stick. I assumed that this time would be no different. Wow. I assumed way too much. "Don't count your chickens before they hatch" is my new motto...

Please keep me in your thoughts these next few months while we figure this mess out. Thank you!!

You might get out...

I sit here in a bit of a mood. Not a bad one, but not a good one. Kind of a sad one. Some unfortunate circumstances have bestowed themselved upon our household lately. The kind that leave you jealous, angry, confused, incredibly sad. But there has been so much good. And that is what I am going to focus on. My title, "You might get out..." was inspired by the song (country, mind you) that goes "If you're goin' through hell, keep on goin', face that fire, walk right through it, you might get out before the devil even knows you're there..."

School starts in two weeks. I have been home with my kid all summer, and I have loved it. I did write a post awhile back that stated that I could never be a stay at home mother. I think I was in a bad mood that day. I love it. I hate stress. I hate deadlines. I hate being told what to do.

I want to be the "queen mum" of my household. I'm not the least bit British. I don't know why I titled my blog that. I guess I wanted something catchy to go along with The King's???
I love waking up, getting my son out of bed, fixing him breakfast and eating mine with him. I love drinking my coffee while he tells his morning news in toddler jibberish. I love not having to rush around, getting myself ready, getting him ready, and out the door in time to get him to school and me as well. I am okay with either having a plan for the day, or not having one at all. I love being able to keep my house clean, laundry done, and have dinner ready each night. I love being a fun mom and getting to plan activities to do with my son that mean something and make him smile.

I try to do all these things when I am working. I do. But sometimes they just don't get done. But I really LIKE getting all of these things done. It is good for my inner self. I feel accomplished. But dangit, they just don't.

School is starting in two weeks. (Did I mention that already?). Part of me is ready to get back into the groove. And part of me is resisting it with all my might. Normally, by now I have been up to my classroom at least a few times. I haven't been there yet. I am going tomorrow though. Wish me luck at being productive. ;)

While going back to work might be like "going through hell" at first, I am going to keep on going. I am blessed to even have a job with all of the budget cuts that have bestowed themselves upon Missouri. Our son has a great school to go to and many friends to play with. My husband coaches a great football team alongside a phenomenal head coach. I work with a fabulous bunch of ladies that I can actually call my friends, and get to hang out with twenty-something 8 year-olds all day. Not quite the "stay-at-home mom" gig I was going for, but it will do for now.